There's still time to run down to the corner wading pool and grab yourself a Christmas bottomfeeder for your family and friends...(we recommend setting your phones automatic dialer to the local hospital emergency room before serving this tasty, tricky treat).

Provokator’s Violent Vánocni Fish Soup

by Bethany Shaffer

·         Head and tail pieces of hen carp (yes, only the hen)

•  Plastic gloves

·         8 cups water

·         1 sliced onion

·         1 really big knife

·         2 Tablespoons butter

·         2 parsnips, peeled and chopped fine

·         1 turnip, peeled and chopped fine

·         2 carrots, peeled and chopped fine

·         1 onion, chopped fine

·         1 fish roe (yes, that does mean eggs)

·         2-3 fish fillets

·         2 Tablespoon butter

·         2 Tablespoons flour

·         a dash of nutmeg

·         salt and pepper to taste

In another saucepan, melt 2 Tablespoons of butter, mix in the flour, and stir until browned. Pour in the soup, bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Add the reserved fish, add nutmeg, and season to taste. When ready to serve, remove your gloves, set aside that big ole knife and ladle into bowls, giving the eyeballs to the friends you love most.

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