by Allen Middlebrooks

A major standard of my lifestyle for most of my early and mid-20s was a loyal devotion to Basic Light cigarettes as well as a proclivity toward consuming other illicit substances. Then, with an anxiety-attack-inspired epiphany, I recognized that my evil ways were leading me towards a path that would become increasingly difficult to circumvent. 

It was time for change, but how? The manner by which most fanatics/addicts do- replace existing enthusiasms with another. What began as an assessment of my self-indulgences and excesses metamorphosed into a life-altering obsession: running. Was this some sort of mental-physical flagellation for my previous debauchery? Certainly.

Does it represent a continuous confessional towards my current decadence? Absolutely.

At first, as do most people who make such changes, I began with a simple (yet, at the time, excruciating) enterprise: walking. In time, daily walks became short jogs, jogs became runs, runs became weekly mileage targets; and these became (as of now) half-marathons. 

What?!? Exercise un-healthy? When it comes at the expense of a social life, the subjugation of friendships, risk of personal injury, and overall wellbeing, then, at times, yes.

Fitness fanaticism has less to do with the “how (much),” and more with the “why.” Take motivational speaker and the best-selling author of Ultramarathon Man, Dean Karnazes, for example. His latest project, “Endurance 50,” has the simple goal of competing in and completing fifty marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days. A nut indeed, but a fanatic? Well, no. He is able to contemplate such endeavors based upon his overall level of fitness; in other words, as an athlete, he understands his limits, and, if his goals came at the expense of personal injury or his career as a runner, then he wouldn’t do it. A fanatic would. Stress fractures and knee surgeries aside, fitness fanaticism can lead to other health problems, including issues such as hypothyroidism (endocrine system), severe back injury, and even heart failure. But, as with most things in life, there is money to be made from such fanaticism. Whether it’s food companies steering us towards the newest low-fat, low-carb, or low-whatever craze, clothing companies fitting us into the most advanced workout gear, or gyms in general, health fanaticism represents big bucks. Even here in the smoky, fried-food-loving Czech Republic, Sokols and gyms are quite prevalent, not to mention the large number of people on bikes, blades, or, in the winter, skis. In increasingly capitalist China, fitness centers have become a $10 billion industry.   

It may have caused some friendships to dry up, but wouldn’t true friends understand and support one’s decision to make positive changes in life? It has also allowed other friendships to blossom in several ways. At the same time, my fanaticism towards health has fostered an increasingly strong bond with my younger brother and a renewed connection to my father. And that, to me, is the healthiest thing of all.

 previously published in Provokator print magazine

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