PINT-SIZED FESTIVUS
To top off the Festivus celebration, pick up some Ben & Jerry’s Festivus (“a holiday for the rest of us”) ice cream. A limited edition flavor first introduced in 2000, the flavor commemorated the 1997 Festivus episode of Seinfeld. Though the flavor was soon retired, a petition has brought the Ben & Jerry’s flavor back to shelves. Celebrate the holiday with brown sugar cinnamon ice cream with a ginger caramel swirl and lots of gingerbread cookie bits. Delicious!

SOLSTICE CELEBRATIONS OF THE WORLD
December celebrations have appeared in many societies throughout history, though Santa didn’t try to fit his oversized body in a chimney and there wasn’t a Rudolph, these celebrations were still worth the hype:

Ancient Greece: Lenea, The Festival of the Wild Women, was celebrated during winter solstice. A man representing the god Dionysos was torn to pieces and eaten by a group of women; he would later be reborn as a baby. In classical times the man was replaced by the killing of a goat.

Atheists: A recent increase in solstice celebrations in the US has led to celebrations such as the Great North Texas Infidel Bash in Weatherford, TX. The party is hosted at a backyard “party barn” and there is even a gift exchange.

Vampires: Referring to people who actually need to ingest small amounts of blood to maintain strength, not to be confused with the culturally glamorized “vampire.” The celebration is called “The Long Night” where a group recognizes new members to the coven and performs rites of passage.

SANTAS REINDEER ARE FEMALE
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, reindeer are the only deer (Cervidae) where both males and females grow antlers in the summer of each year. Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, November to mid-December, while females keep their antlers until after they give birth in spring. Though it’s not impossible for a male to keep his antlers until December 24th, Santa must have had females. How else would they find their way?

ANTI-SANTA FEST
Hate the idea of Christmas? Celebrate “Anti-Santa” with members of Blaq Mummy, Phil Shoenfeld, and Southern Cross on December 15th at Club Bordo, 8 pm. The second concert for Blaq Mummy expect to join the anti-Santa insurgence blowing up Christmas trees while witnessing Santa eat his castrated reindeers live onstage only to be be hung and quartered soon after. Last year the audience ate Santa’s brains.
www.anti-santa.cz

SUI-CIDER ANYONE?
Contrary to popular belief, higher suicide rates are not linked to the holidays.  According to the US National Center for Health Statistics and other studies, suicide rates in December and January were either average or below average.  So at what times do those with suicidal tendencies most decide to leave the planet?  Researchers discovered that suicides are most numerous early in the work week.   

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