My heart silently poured out to Lennon's family, but particularly to his son Sean. I thought that given the chance I'd like to be able to do something for him... however small.
Upon meeting the man who is in the process of growing into his title, Sean struck me as a very normal, well-adjusted individual, despite the myriad of circumstances that might of sent many less stalwart souls to an early demise.
My gift to Sean Lennon was to take him on a tour of the city on my motorbike to show him Prague from the perspective of an everyman and the celebrity unencumbered.
After picking him up from a small castle nestled amidst a highway, a gas station, and a train depot, we spent the next few hours simply as two individuals on a motorbike getting to know each other. We passed and noted Havel's childhood home, the Dancing Building, the Goethe Institute. I rode him into Old Town Square driving illegally through the on-looking crowds to the clock that fakes out thousands of tourists a year. We headed towards Tyn Church and coursing through the little alleys were drawn into an antique curio shop where we rummaged through everything from pocket watches to cuckoo clocks.
Upon entering the store the proprietor Milos donned a smile that spread across his face like butter on hot toast...he knew who the bespectacled boy behind me was.
I drove him to the press conference that he had professed he didn't really want to go to and as soon as we got off the motorbike the paparazzi were upon us. I had forgotten about them. I had forgotten that Sean was a super-celebrity, and I instantly became sad again. I turned to him to suggest he keep his helmet on but it was too late.
“Go, fast...!” He said to me, well practiced at this sort of invasion.
I proceeded to quick step in front of him and play blocker for an unlikely quarterback.
Once inside Lucerna, a calm came over Sean that one could only describe as a sense of homecoming and the relief that brings. His world was managers, publicity agents and his crew.
We sat in the dressing room and spoke of antique shops and obsessive collections. Mentioning Andy Warhol's notorious hording techniques, he rolled his eyes, “Warhol gave me his dead cat.”
“Stuffed, right?”
“Yeah..”, he looked slightly queasy, “it kind of freaked me out... I was like nine or something.”
It occurred to me that this is a regular young man who is coming of age and into his own, despite having lived a life of extraordinary circumstances.
Our phone interview:
M.L.: I've been going through everything again, the site and the music. Unfortunately they didn't get me a promo CD, or any kind of CD, so I was pretty much doing what I could online. And, it's [Friendly Fire, EMI] very wistful, it's really beautiful music.
S.L.: Thank you.
M.L.: I write a lot, and I produce shows here as well, and pretty much constructive criticism is my job, I went to the San Francisco Art Institute for conceptual art and all that. But, [this album Friendly Fire – EMI] brought feelings of ideas of resolve, and forgiveness. I didn't get to see or read the liner notes or anything, so was this written for someone in particular, or something there were allusions to....
S.L.: a specific life experience?
M.L.: Yes.
S.L.: Yeah, it was. Um, most of the songs were kind of, you know, inspired by a real relationships I had, one specifically with my ex-girlfriend Bijoux [Phillips]. And then basically an experience that I went through with her and like my best friend, who had an affair with her, or she had an affair with him, whatever. And like, you know, it's kind of like about the, you know, it's describing what it was like, or the things that I felt, but it's not necessarily trying to resolve or solve anything, it's just sort of like saying this is what happened, or this is what it's like when this happens, it's not like, I wasn't trying to judge her or him necessarily, I was just trying to articulate, you know, what it was like for me. That's all.
M.L.: Well, I mean, it didn't sound like there was judgment at all actually, it was just a little bit of self-chastising, a little bit of what happens I think naturally when you go through that, but also it seemed like an acceptance of shit happens, in a way.
S.L.: Yeah exactly, I'm trying, um, I'm trying not to be pessimistic, I'm trying to actually, sort of, just sort of use my life experience to make something that's true, and sort of beautiful, you know, like the way you might describe a thunderstorm. It's like, it might be a scary thing, but if you describe it beautifully, then you're making something beautiful out of it, or something like that.
M.L.: It seemed like there was a [sense of] continuance, like a forgiveness.
S.L.: Yeah, I guess. I think it's important to, not to, sort of, be bitter about things, but um, there's definitely some bitterness on the album, but it's like, I wasn't putting it there in order to, sort of, BE bitter; I was putting it there to kind of be true about what it's like to go through that. You go through a lot of different feelings.
M.L.: Well I would imagine, I mean, you have a very public life, and there must be some sense of resolution and forgiveness in, just, everything you have to encounter.
S.L.: Um, wow, well, that's possibly true. I don't really like to, sort of, qualify my life significantly in terms of being compared to other peoples' lives.
S.L.: As somehow special or different, because it just makes me uncomfortable, and I don't think it necessarily applies; I think people tend to assume that life is somehow different for me, or for others, but I don't think that it's that different. I think life kind of boils down to the same fundamental five or six things for most people, and it's like health and friends and family and love, or whatever. But I mean, it's true, but I think people think that I'm more of a celebrity than I am. I actually kind of, I don't, my life doesn't really, my daily existence doesn't really inundated with, sort of, celebrity things, like someone like Mariah Carey or Tom Cruise or something. Those people are truly living on another planet, and my whole experience is pretty mundane, really. It really is.
M.L.: I think that lifestyle is by choice.
S.L.: Yeah, I think so, but I also think that since I was born, uh, with whatever celebrity I have, I didn't make my celebrity.
M.L.: Mmhmm. Well yeah.
S.L.: It's just kind of like a background, you know? It's like a backdrop to my life. It's not really, like, I don't identify with it, necessarily, it's just sort of like, you know...my eyes are brown, whatever. It's just what happened. Like, I grew up, I remember people taking my picture and stuff, and I never knew anything other than that, so it doesn't feel like...it doesn't feel unique. It just feels like there's this sort of background noise...my life is pretty normal to me. I mean, I may be deluded in thinking that, but it feels that way.
M.L.: In your circumstance, as we've seen in other people's circumstances that were born into celebrity, everybody's looking to the offspring to...you know, what're they gonna produce? Right? Are they gonna get the heritage?
S.L.: Right, inherit the 'thing'.
M.L.: I can only imagine that that's a heavy weight to bear; whether you do or don't, and whether you try or not... and whether you're going to carve your name out of your name.
S.L.: I know, I know what you mean, and people do ask me that, like, what is it like to live with this pressure. But it's funny because honestly, like I'll say it again, in my daily sphere of experience I don't feel some sort of pressure, other than, you know, the normal, like, existential angst that everyone feels, but I mean, I only feel this thing as being tangible when I actually read certain articles, or encounter certain people that really say, well, he's not as good as his dad. Then, at that very moment that I'm reading it, I feel like, 'oh! There is this pressure'.
S.L.: But other than that, 99.9 percent of my life I don't even think about it. I'm just doing my thing. I don't feel, I don't exist in terms, or I don't in relation to this sort of abstract pressure on me. I don't feel it ever, except when I see it being articulated by some specific person.
M.L.: That's a pretty evolved state. I mean, I'm very happy to hear that, because, you know...I kinda worry about people. But, I'm Italian.
S.L.: No, I mean, um, what I mean is ...people say it must be hard to live in the shadow of your dad, and I always say, 'well, I don't really SEE the shadow unless I see that other people see it'.
S.L.: So I think it's hard for other people, to see me as myself. I think other people have a problem with my dad being famous, but I really never had a problem with it, because it would be like having a problem with my hands.
S.L.: A problem with something thats...
M.L.: You've always known.
S.L.: You see what I mean?
M.L.: That makes perfect sense. It sheds a very natural light, an organic light on it. You know? Where most people don't have the reference, and might even be scared to ask. When you were talking about, let's see...the album is also like a parting with your, with Max LeRoy, was it not?
S.L.: Yes.
M.L.: And, I sensed...what you say is natural to you most people don't ever get to come to that sense of resolve and continuance and resolution.
S.L.: Well I don't feel necessarily resolved, that's my point. I mean, I might be trying for that, but I don't feel like I've solved anything by making the record. I just feel like I'm trying my best to describe life. And the only thing that I have to draw from is my life, so, that's what happened to me, and those feelings that I have, but I don't feel like I ...Like I've had a breakthrough, and sort of figured it all out in terms of how to just, you know, mourn Max dying, all those things, they're still painful.
M.L.: So is it cathartic to sing it over and over?
S.L.: Uh, yeah. It's intense. I put it that way. I don't know if it's cathartic, it's not like a breakthrough, but it's deep. It's life, and it feels rich, and intense.
M.L.: It feels very raw, and it cut right through to the arteries inside my heart, quite honestly. And it strikes me when music can effect me, I'm not just blowing smoke at you, you know. But, it does also remind me of several musicians – for example; Nick Drake, Elliot Smith, Leonard Cohen, and of course your father always all seem to seem very present, but not necessarily exploited. They're just present. You know what I mean? It's like an admission.
S.L.: That's cool. Thank you. Well, I mean, if you're comparing me to them.
M.L.: (Chuckle). As a music journalist, it kinda sucks, because you kind of do have to use comparisons in order to relate to a general, un-knowledgeable populous, you know, what this [or that] sounds like. And, those all came to mind, in a quite honest way. It also seems very natural, like it's a comfortable place for you to sit, and you're comfortable with it at the moment, too.
S.L.: I am, well, I think because I basically learned how to write songs kind of from imitating my mom.
M.L.: (Laugh). Which is funny - since she's a bit more discordant. (Laugh), and the album is anything but discordant.
S.L.: But she's known for discordance, but she makes a lot of records, especially the records that I grew up with her making are very pop, she has a way of sort of writing lyrics that sort of just so blatantly raw, and true, that I never even thought of doing song lyrics that weren't that way. It feels kinda natural to me. People always ask me, is it hard for you to sort of expose your private life; publicly, in that way.
M.L.: and...?
S.L.: It's not. And I honestly feel like, well no, it's not, it's actually great, because the discomfort I have in terms of my relationship with the public is that I feel like there's a misconception about me; there's a misunderstanding, and people don't see what I am for real and so when I have a chance to write a song, I want to really show myself truly, and if people get to have some inkling of who I am that's real, then I feel that's better. I prefer that to them thinking I'm some sort of, well, whatever they might think I am. Some sort of like, you know, out of touch, prodigal, sort of prince-like spoiled guy. And I know people have these stereotypes about me, and those are the ones that make me uncomfortable, because I'm not that way. But in terms of me and my grief and my life, and what I go through, that's the truth, and I don't have any problem with sharing that, because I think that's what art can be. It doesn't have to be, but it can be.
M.L.: It comes through. It really does. Did you ever get to meet Elliot Smith?
S.L.: (Solemnly) No, I didn't. But I know a lot of people that knew him, and my friend Joey Waronker was always on his records, and had gone to his house, and would tell me about him, like I knew people that knew him, and...I just feel so terrible that he, um, wasn't sort of, helped.
M.L.: Yes.
S.L.: I feel like he definitely needed...he needed professional help, and I'm not even into medication or rehab – I don't believe in most of that shit – but I think certain people in extreme situations need it. You need to go to the emergency room and kinda be locked down and, and saved. And I feel like it's just so sad that you can be so loved, and then not really have anyone around, like to not make your life in such a way that you're not surrounded by at least one person, or two people that can attempt to save you, a little bit, from yourself. It's just terrible, you know. It's tough.
--------------------------
M.L.: What I've noticed through public, reportage and stuff like that – I don't claim to know you – and this [press clippings] is all you can get, right? But, also,it seems like you have a really good relationship with the women in your life.
S.L.: (mumbles/kinda laughs)
M.L.: You're very close with your mom.
S.L.: Yeah that's true.
M.L.: You toured with Cibo Matto [dates], with Yuka Honda who is now your ex-girlfriend, she's on tour with you now?
S.L.: Yes, sure.
M.L.: So therefore you're able to go through a breakup, and still continue to work with somebody in a band which is, intense.
S.L.: Intense. Um, I think...I just feel very lucky for that relationship, because it was kind of saved by us breaking up, in a way. It wasn't even saved, it was transformed into something even better, that's kind of more constructive. I just, you know, yeah. In that situation I'm lucky, but I wouldn't say generally that I'm some sort of, you know, that I know how to do things. I don't. But I think in some situations I've been lucky.
M.L.: So the fact that Bijoux [Phillips] was in your video?
S.L.: Well, I don't believe in, sort of, burning bridges with people that I love, because I think that if you love someone deeply, then that's a very very, kind of, you know, one of the most special things that can happen to a person. So like no matter what happens, I think that it's important to remember why you loved them, and to not take that for granted. I definitely believe that. I would never, sort of, abandon Bijoux because we hurt each other, or I hurt her or she hurt me. It just doesn't seem, uh, it seems kind of self destructive to do that personally. I mean of course there's certain lines people can cross, I think, maybe, but I mean, I've never loved anyone who, thank god, who went completely psycho or something. You know what I mean? A horror story or something. I feel like within reason, I think I'm smart enough to really love people that are pretty interesting, and interesting enough to keep around.
M.L.: I have a belief that the people I have around me are reflections of myself, and where I'm at, and if they're not doing well, than that's a reflection on me. If I'm doing well and they're doing well...do you know what I'm saying?
S.L.: Yeah, I think that's possible as well, I mean, it's possible that the whole world is a reflection of you.
M.L.: I'm working on it.
S.L.: I mean, it's possible, you know, I just mean that I don't take people for granted, or try not to. That's all I'm saying.
M.L.: And that's a pleasure to hear as well, because most people don't think about that, and especially when, you know, people assume when you have lots of options that [taking things for granted] would be more of a tendency.
S.L.: Well, yeah, that's the thing. People (sigh), people...
M.L.: So tell me, tell them when they're wrong.
S.L.: People tend to have fleeting, very quick relationships these days, like I notice certain people that I know that like, you know, they'll be like, “Oh my god! They're my best friend!” And then like two days later they never speak again, and it's like, I'm definitely not into that sort of hyper-accelerated relationship concept that seems to be like the norm now.
M.L.: Well, but you're also on tour, right? I mean, in a way there's like a kind of tour network of family everywhere you go. You have maybe 24 hours to know this person, and whether you click or don't, because you're always on the road it becomes a mechanism of staying connected. You were on the road with Cibo Matto in the van, right?
S.L.: Yeah, yeah, we were full on in the van. But in those days I used to...I don't know, somehow I used to, I don't meet people on tour anymore, because, you know, it's like right after the gig I'm driving to the next gig, it's like there's so many gigs it's just like, I don't even have time, so it's more like you become close with -
M.L.: Your driver.
S.L.: With the people that are in your van and the crew that you're touring with.
M.L.: Mmhm.
S.L.: It's almost sort of lonely, it's like you're always sort of in this little spaceship and just traveling through space, and you encounter the audience, which is great, but that's like the most social it gets, really.
M.L.: Yeah, I understand. I've worked shows here, and bands come through all the time, and I work with them. But I try to, I mean, I'm American, and I try to give them a little bit of America if they're American, and make them feel at home for a little bit.
S.L.: Well I wish I was spending the night in Prague, because I've never been to Prague and I've always liked -
M.L.: Dude really! I was gonna ask you but I thought, of course he's been to Prague.
S.L.: Well you know, I used to go to Budapest a lot, and I tried to take a train to Prague once, but I just was waiting until I had time to really see the city, but I guess now is not gonna be that time.
M.L.: That blows.
S.L.: I'm really bummed. At least I thought that if I could spend the night, and then like in the morning go for a walk or something.
M.L.: Well, if you would want somebody to walk you around with you or something I could...I have a scooter too.
S.L.: Would you really?
M.L.: Yeah, absolutely.
S.L.: That'd be really nice.
S.L.: What was your name again? I'm sorry.
M.L.: Oh it's cool (chuckles). Marika.
S.L.: Oh Mar-i-ka, - - - - .
M.L.: I have the kind of punk rock, like ten crown tour, so...
S.L.: You have what?
M.L.: The punk rock ten crown tour.
S.L.: What is that?
M.L.: Well, the, uh, money system here is crowns, Korunni; and because I do a lot of shows, like we're always in a van, and I'm always giving the quickie tour like, “Okay, over here is the Dancing Building, which is actually Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.” Yadda, yadda.
S.L.: If I give you ten Koruna you're gonna tell me the, the background of everything?
M.L.: Well, the ten Koruna was a joke, but sure, you can give me ten Koruna for it! That'll pay for the gas! (Laughs).
S.L.: Great. That's very kind of you. I'm happy, 'cause I didn't know what the fuck I was gonna do when I got there.
by Marika Ley
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