By Kenn Mayfield

Open your eyes wide and see what happens to the body when things get scary.
Can you anticipate fear? A fearful hero should plan ahead, so these emergency items might come in handy:

A bottle of water. Salivary glands stop secreting and the mouth will become dry. Production of acid fluids increase, causing dehydration. Illness can follow.
Sunglasses. Pupils dilate to let more light in, which improves long distance vision. 

Eyedrops. Tear glands become inhibited, eyes become dry.
Fresh towel and anti-perspirant. Blood flows from the vital organs to the arms and legs and the extra heat generates sweat. The skin feels cold and clammy rather than cool and dry.
Make-up kit and fake tanning lotion. Blood also flows away from the skin's surface, giving it a pasty look similar to that undead uncle twice removed, or alternatively the highly dedicated IT programmer.

Light snacks. Digestive fluids and motions are reduced so heavy meals become harder to absorb.
Comfortable running shoes and/or boxing gloves. Adrenal glands increase activity, resulting in the classic fight-or-flight response.
A good comb. Each follicle's erector muscle tightens, making body hair stands on end. Evolutionarily speaking, this 'gooseflesh' is a primal response to creeping insects and tax collectors.
Magnesium supplements and a personal masseuse. Calcium ions enter the body's cells, exciting nerves andmaking muscles tense and contract. Magnesium is needed to relax muscles and restore the cell's magnesium balance. A massage is often a fine idea.
A micro-voltometer. The skin becomes less conductive to electricity (electrical resistance increases).
Oxygen tank. Not for Grandpa, but for the increased oxygen intake our fearful hero's muscles require as muscles prime for action.
Nitroglycerin tablets. Blood pressure increases when the heart beats faster, helping to deliver more oxygen to the muscles.

A CD of waterfall sounds and birdsong. To calm the increased heart rate.
Viagra and mood music. Smooth genital muscles of the vagina and scrotum tighten, fun glands decrease secretions, and blood supply to these favorite places is reduced, leading to a reduction of sexual feeling.

Our fearful hero's  friends and arch-enemies may notice peculiar facial expressions:
Eyes widen in anticipation.
Upper lip rises.
Brows come together.
Lips stretch horizontally.

Should you find yourself suddenly afraid or in a fearful situation, take heart in the knowledge that searching for all these “ScaryKit” items will take your mind off the imminent disaster that, rest assured, nature has spent millennia preparing you to deal with! 

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